Boy Disappearing by Rex Emerson Jackson

Author:Rex Emerson Jackson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-06-12T00:00:00+00:00

At that moment, I wanted to scream. I wanted to hit her, hurt her. How dare she accuse me of being selfish? I knew I was sick, I knew I had a disorder, and that my friends were worried. I felt bad every day that I was worrying other people. But this was my personal Sisyphean epic. I was the one rolling that huge rock uphill, and it seemed to get heavier the lighter I became. In my teacher’s mind, what I was doing to my friends was worse than what I was doing to myself, and I immediately absorbed that fact, and subtracted some numbers from my self worth. What was I worth now? I had been pretty sure it couldn’t get lower.

The day the clocks changed that spring, Gita and I showed up for rehearsal on time but Marj, our third person, had missed the time change and was late. When she arrived, the two of them bookended me where I was lying on the floor.

“Have you ever thought of going into treatment?” Gita asked. I replied that I would never leave this school. It was in my blood.

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